Sports bra and lycra shorts

Hey there!  I want to be honest, right from the start.  I have started this blog for purely selfish reasons.  I need to make changes in my life - and I think the only way for me to see clearly is to "write" it all down.  I have been doing ALOT of talking in recent weeks, months, and years - and not a whole lot of "doing" has been happening.  That is about to change.
Do you ever watch those shows where people need to lose hundreds of pounds?  And they have them walking around in sports bras and lycra shorts?  I have often seen that and thought "WHY would they make them wear that?  WHY?  It seems so degrading!"  I am thinking that the producers and writers are onto something.  So many of us walk around in a "cover" - we disguise who we really are - so we don't have to admit to others OR OURSELVES who we really are.  Making those people put on that sports bra and lycra shorts is forcing them to admit where they are - forcing them to see what they really look like.  It's due time that I put on the "sports bra and lycra shorts" and finally cop to where I am.
So, like I said, I need to make some changes.  I don't like where I am and I don't like who I have become.  I am a fun person. I am insightful. I give great advice (whether you want it or not).  I love to give to others and do little things to brighten people's days.  I work hard.  I try to be the best mom that I can be.  With all of that said, there is constant turmoil deep inside of me.  I don't like me.  I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror.  I don't like what I think about.  I don't like that I have NO self-control.  I don't like that I am completely un-disciplined.  I don't like what comes out of my mouth at times.  And, I certainly don't like how quickly I can become angry.  The list could go on and on - but, I think that you get the point.  I know that I have people in my life who love me, and that my God loves me, but I want to love me.  Not in a creepy, snobby Kardashian way - but I long to see myself the way that God sees me.  And, I long to be the woman that God knows I can be - the woman that He created me to be. 
So, where do I start in my journey to where I want to be?  Well, that's the trick - remember when I said that I am completely un-disciplined?  Yeah - therein lies the biggest problem.  How do I lose weight?  By eating better and working out.  How do I discover who God wants me to be so that I can work towards that?  By reading my Bible and listening to Him more.  How do I control my temper?  I have NO idea!  I am not good at making a plan and sticking to it.  I hope that since this will all be written and broadcasted on the internet, this will help me to stick to my plans a little better than my past attempts.
I joined a Bible study at my church - and that starts next Tuesday.  I am excited because it will help me be in the Word every day.  This is step one. 
I joined a gym 4 weeks ago and still haven't gone once.  I WILL go work out 4 times next week.  This is step two. 
I am only making those 2 steps at this point.  I can't change everything at once or I won't stick to a single one - I know this about myself. 
If you see me next week, ask me how I am doing.  :)  Thanks! 

  "We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."  
~Francois de La Rochefoucauld~