Well, it's time to explain to you all why I chose the name I chose for my blog. This is one of my favorite verses from the story of Esther. (Little side note - I was Esther in high school in a play about Esther! I thought you would love to know that! haha) Anyways, if you know the story, that's great! If you don't, pick up a Bible and read it!!! Esther was a little orphan girl who ended up being a queen - a queen who would save the lives of her people! Talk about whirlwind kind of life. Esther was basically pushed into this "America's Next Top Model" type of contest to become the queen - and "won". When I played Esther in high school, I sang a song with the words "Why am I here? What have I done? Everything's changed - who have I become? They call me queen, but I still feel like a girl." Can you hear the sadness in those words? The sense of - well, I can't even put it into words. This "competition" wasn't something that Esther signed up for, dreamed of all her life, or even wanted to be a part of. But, nonetheless, she found herself in this confusing, overwhelming situation. Fast-forward through the story, after years of this craziness, Esther's uncle writes to her and tells her to go to the king and beg for her people's lives. This presented a few pretty bad scenarios - the worst of which was that if she went to the king without the king asking for her to come in, she could and would be killed! She tells Mordecai (her uncle) this and he writes her back with this thought "And who knows but that you have come to this royal position for such a time as this?" Everything that she had gone through - the good, the bad, the confusing, the lonely, the fabulous - were for a reason! They had made her into who she was and had put her where she was for a purpose. I love those words so much - I actually got them tattooed on my arm with the birthflowers of two very special girls who God allowed me to help. I had gone through many things - good, bad, confusing, lonely, fabulous - and they made me into who I was and put me where I was so that God could use me in these 2 girls lives. Now, obviously, He could have used anyone but He chose me - and I am so very grateful for that. The blessing that they have given to me in return are incalculable. (There are so many other people who I just love to death and I am so grateful for - I will work on a tattoo to symbolize you all - don't worry! lol)
Anyways, I love those words - For Such a Time as This. I take comfort in it when I am going through a trial or valley - for I know it is all for a reason. God is continuing His work in me. I am so grateful that He is willing to work on such a messed up, filthy, wrecked person! I know that I go through things so that I can learn and grow - but my hope and prayer is that God will use my trials and valleys and lessons and growth to help you grow. My hope and prayer is that something that He is teaching me with teach you as well. What a cool thing that would be!
I will leave you with this. There is a reason that you have been through whatever you have been through. If you are currently in a trial - whether it has been a few days, a few weeks, or a few years - God is using this to mold you into who He knows you can be. We are all a work in progress - and I know that sometimes that hurts and scares and confuses us - but becoming who God wants us to be is a pretty sweet reward. Go with it - and look for every lesson that He is trying to teach you. Let Him do His work - the will of God is the only place to be!
"You know you can't stay right where you fell. The hardest part is forgiving yourself. But let's take a walk into today And don't let your past get in the way." This is where I am right now.... Love you all and I covet your prayers.
